Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Babies and Ultimate Fighting

An actual conversation in my house this morning:

Me:     What are you watching?
BD:      UFC
Me:     Could you maybe watch something else with Penelope?
BD:      Why?
Me:     Umm because she's one?!?
BD:     Genuinely confused look
Me:     Because it's UFC!

Really? 

The occasional Muppet Show sketch is one thing; I'm not a big fan of her watching a ton of TV as it is (yes I know this will change as she becomes a toddler). I did think however, that it would obvious that Ultimate Fighting might not be the most appropriate thing to watch with a baby. 

hmm. Guess not. 

PS. Upon seeing this post, Baby Daddy's response: "In my defense she wasn't really watching it."

Thursday, 9 August 2012

No, IIII want to put sharp metal things in Mama's mouth!

After a sleepless night, Penelope and I both went to the dentist this morning. I expected it to be a challenging visit. Sure enough, after playing by herself for a while by emptying the contents of my purse on the dentist’s office floor, there was a spontaneous outburst of discontent. Apparently she was not impressed with the fact that someone was poking and scraping inside her mama’s mouth. Well, she wasn’t impressed that she didn’t get to watch.

For the rest of my visit in the chair she sat on my stomach and watched in awe as the hygienist attempted to scrape off the build up of plaque that comes with neglecting your teeth due to baby brain. Note to new parents: floss your damn teeth, no matter how bloody tired you are! Remind each other to brush your teeth more that once a day... or for those first couple months, more than once every other day if you’re anything like I was in mombie state. Shiver with disgust, it’s okay. Sometimes, between all the boobing, diapers, trying to simply sleep or keep up with a newly mobile baby, you just forget.

The screams didn’t come until later, when P got strange fingers probing around inside her own mouth. Turns out the last few nights have been sleepless for a reason. She’s about to cut 3 or 4 teeth. Probably all at once. Joy. We received even better news about her orthodontic future. The two teeth she has tell the dentist that she has inherited my teeth. They are really close together. Adult teeth are bigger than baby teeth, so if baby teeth are tight, without spaces between them, there is a good chance there will be a lot of crowding with the second set of teeth. 

Son of a whore! Could we not catch a break with this? I don’t know if you’ve seen past photos of my beautiful baby daddy, but he’s got a KILLER smile. All natural. Mine? Picture 4 years of headgear and braces. Yes, actually I WAS an adorable kid. 
Told you. J saw this and commented, "you look like you're getting ready to eat the bunnies". I told him that first of all, they were puppies (one of which gave me my first hickey but that's a story for another time) and secondly, that I was cute as hell with my crooked teeth and broken nose. And I may have called him a jerk. But I do look a little hungry eh?

I actually tried to find a photo of the mouth gear, but surprisingly there are none of me in my stylin’ ortho wear. I can only assume that I destroyed all the evidence during that low self esteem period every teenager inevitably goes through. This means I have work to do. I so do not want my daughter to be self conscious. I want her to smile as brightly as she does now, crowded teeth and all. I want her to show the rows of metal and I don’t want her to hold her laughter back so photos only have her smiling with her mouth closed. 

So how do you do that? Pretend my experience with braces was better than it was? Simply teach her as she grows that she’s amazing! All I can do is continue to focus on how clever, funny, smart and lovely she is and hope it sinks in before those horrible preteen years hit.

We tried to get a “baby’s first trip to the dentist” shot but she was freeeeeaking out, so blurry shots of the back of her head and me laughing is all we got. Yes, I laugh at her while she cries. It’s what keeps me sane.

Saturday, 4 August 2012

Baby Brainz Moment #94 - cell phones

I don't even know if I can blame this on baby brain... this was a true "holy hell, I've become the biggest ditz in the world" moment. And by biggest ditz, I'm talking hollywoodesque-blonde-head-cheerleader-who-says-like-as-every-other-word-and-blinks-at-the-mention-of-anything-of-importance  ditzy. 

On our way to a festival, we stopped for something to eat. P was sleeping in the car, so rather than sit in a stinkin' hot vehicle while waiting for J to get our food, I stood outside. I decided to check my messages and set the phone on the roof of the car while it loaded. 

You see where I'm going with this don't you. And as much as you don't want to believe it, you know I'm writing about it, so it must be true... 

J came out with the food, I got in the car to help arrange the food to make it easier to eat while on the road, and off we went. About ten minutes later we hear a clunk. I looked at J and asked if I could seriously be that spaced that I left my cell on the roof of the car. We called my phone. We didn't hear it vibrate. Praying it got hooked in the roof rack, we pulled over. No such luck.We turned around. We looked for it. Twice. Apparently I really COULD be that spaced.

I now officially hate roof racks. Mostly for not catching my phone when it slid along the roof at 80kms an hour, but also for camouflaging my phone in the first place. Yes, I know, it's really not the roof rack's fault, but the roof rack isn't the one mourning super cute baby pictures, a wicked contact list, and traveling notes, is it?

This is what happens to your brain on babies. 


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