Through the seasons...

"and the leaves were telling secrets to the wind...that falling is just another way to fly."  That quote seems so delightfully appropriate as we celebrate the fall equinox. This moment of balance between light and dark.

I have journeyed through the dark, and danced in the light. It's amazing what you go through, not just as a mother but as a person when your world shifts from light to dark and back again - from falling to flying as the quote suggests. We all go through these transitions, the cycles of the seasons within ourselves - over and over - it's never ending. We plant seeds, we watch them grow, we harvest them and we hibernate.

As we get closer to the end of this year's cycle I see how balanced the falling has helped me become. How much more centered I feel being aware of what season I'm in, within myself. 

I used to celebrate each turn of the year with formal, sometimes elaborate, rituals. Over the past few years, however; I have come to mark the season's changes through participation - my physical actions a meditation for the changes within that coincide. To mark the harvest we canned, we picked apples and roasted vegetables, and as we did this I thought much about the seeds I had planted in the spring for myself...

I  thought about how today marks the beginning of the next chapter of the year and
how abundant our harvest will be. 

I have always struggled in my relationships - professional and personal - co-worker, sister, daughter, lover, mother... often it didn't matter. My depression fed insecurities. 

Once I started to deal with the dark and learn to be okay in the light, I was able to make more of an effort to give energy back to those who gave it to me. I always doubted the happy, feeling more comfortable in the lows than the highs. Once I became aware of this I made a conscious decision to have relationships that were fair and equal exchanges of energy.  

Rather than simply planting a seed and seeing what would happen, I nurtured my relationships; I watered and sunned what sprouted. And I am forever grateful the seasons helped me do that. 

This time of year is indeed about harvesting; for me it's about being grateful for the gatherings that took place all summer which enriched those relationships, and myself by proxy. I now sit calmly knowing that I have love and respect coming from so many different directions and where before I would doubt it, or its sincerity, I now unquestionably accept it as part of my bountiful harvest. I know that I'm deserving of it, because I helped it grow. 



A blessed Mabon/Autumn Equinox.