Mistakes

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.

So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life. Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever.” 

--Neil Gaiman

Hear that Mamas? Papas? Parents to be? This quote sparks so much emotion, determination and motivation in me, and on many different levels. It is the epitome of inspiration: a mistake. Think of all the remarkable things you have done in your life after you've made a mistake. Now imagine if we put that determination to doing amazing things after making a mistake with our children rather than beat ourselves up; rather than live in the shadow of this fear that we'll do it again. OF COURSE we're going to do it again. Hopefully not the same mistakes, but mistakes all the same. 

So, what if we applied Gaiman's quote to parenting in 2014. Are we going to make mistakes? I sure as hell hope so! Why? because they help us grow as people and as parents. They are the fuel that will help us to become the guide and mentor we aspire to be, and to provide for our children one day. I say let's make them with childhood wonder, take a lesson from every single one of them and experience what comes from the mistakes.

Happy New Year my Lovelies.

The boob post.

I never thought I would write such a detailed post about my breasts, let alone how much of a pain they can be. I mean they're small and don't really get in the way - I can run without support just fine and I'd be stretched to squish them into a little black dress (they don't really squish). I'm talking about literal pain... and here I am: slightly delirious from flu like symptoms, typing away with potato in my bra. 

Yeah, a fucking potato. Mr. Potato Head met his maker today (but part of him is getting some serious action). 

I have a blocked duct. Or, with the low energy-nauseous-achy all over-can't seem to get warm no matter how many blankets I pile on - kind of feeling, mastitis. The later is likely but we won't know for sure until tomorrow. There is a script in my purse that I am hesitant to fill. My lactation consultant agrees.

I love my breasts, so it pains me to write anything ill about them. (HA! Sorry that just kind of happened!) But in all seriousness this is one of the most painful things I have experienced. 

It started with a stabbing pain in my left breast. I was walking up the stairs, minding my own business when Ghosty decided to punch me right in the boob. Okay, it wasn't the ghost apparently, it was my breast producing milk and my duct not allowing it to flow.

My daughter is almost two and a half and I have nursed her (just once a day, if that, for the past few months) this long without having any complications. A wee bit of chapping when she was first born but no yeast issues, no latch problems and thankfully no concern when it came to supply. Which is how at 2.5 when she's feeling really off at a party and needing comfort I can nurse her just fine. 

After my appointment today, we assume it's because my supply is still abundant and she was able to get it flowing again with a big nurse on the weekend, but she didn't quite drain it.... and voila! A blockage. I am amazed that it can happen that easily and how the pain came on so suddenly. That pain? It's severe. 

I found this article that is really close to what my specialist was saying - and although I recommend you head to one yourself - this might give you some comfort and help you stay on top of it. 

Or, if you've been through this - what's the best way you got things flowing again?

The Best Day of My Life

Today. Today is going to be the best day of my life. 

Why?

Because my daughter asked to dance with me. 

I work part time at a theatre which sometimes can lead to incredibly late and long I've-been-on-my-feet-for-6-hours-straight-with-no-break nights. Last night was one of them. Exhaustion this morning took over my limbs but my daughter thankfully doesn't understand and insisted "MAMA! Mama get up!!!" 

Penelope help my hand as I obligingly roused myself and lead me towards my slippers and a blissfully delicious cup of coffee. We made a smoothie together (ever see a 2+ year old react to a blender being used? I highly recommend it), sat and shared a glass together, and then she looked up at me and said words that are music to my soul...

"Mama, I want to dance!"

We sat on the computer and I let her chose what categories she wanted from Songza. Her choices lead us here. (Take three and a half minutes to listen... and if you fancy - dance!)




At first we just danced on our own, then danced down the hallway and in circles - and then this moment came where she asked to be picked up. Climbing my torso like a tree she pulled herself up so we were cheek and cheek, pressed her face against mine as hard as she could, wrapped her arms around my neck and said, "Love you Mama". And then we danced with our faces squished against each other, holding each other tightly and hoping the song would never end. Okay, that last part might just have been me ;)

best. dance. of. my. life.