Thursday, 14 July 2011

Lint and lace and seeing red... with the whites

So, I'm adjusting to sharing space again with another person. And, today it became known to me that while J is ridiculously intelligent, hilarious to the point of making you pee your pants a little because you're laughing so hard at his horrible jokes, and sexier than I could have ever hoped for in a partner, he has never been taught how to do laundry. 

As I write this, much as I did this morning as I hung the clothing he washed on the line, I'm giggling (a lot). Why? Because friends, I'm not talking about him not knowing how to "add clothes & detergent to the washing machine and turning the knob to start" kind of doing laundry... I'm not even talking about different spin cycles for various textiles or stain removal. I'm talking about sorting. 

Notice anything odd about this picture?

Please note: this is one load of laundry; all of this was washed together. 

I thought of writing him a letter... 

Hi Sweetheart,

I really appreciate your help around the house, and how willing you are to help out with chores, so please don't take this the wrong way: Darling, your laundry skills suck. 

I understand you are a 28 year old male who has been fending for yourself for a long time and may not have had to worry about that amazingly bright red t-shirt dying your girlfriend's favorite white skirt pink, or cared about having towel fluff on your t-shirts. You may not have thought about the fact that your black sport socks would leave lint on the tea towels, which will transfer onto our clean dishes when we dry them. And you know those little lace panties you love? They are so much sexier without tears in them.

Thank you for doing the laundry this week. I'm especially thankful to whichever gods or faeries are responsible (and cold water)for the miraculous saving of our whites. But, before you get the urge to simply dump what's in a hamper straight into the washing machine, hit start and wash your belt with your pants again, I figure it's better late than never... 

Too much? :) 

All my love,

(ps. thank you in advance for not getting upset with me for razing you on the internet)


  1. Can I borrow this letter for my almost 50 year old man? wait, I simply banned him from doing the laundry :)