The Santa Struggle

Call me a Santa hater, a Grinch, a Scrooge... but I don't want my daughter to meet Santa. 

There I said it.

I am surprised at how much I'm struggling with knowing that today at daycare, my daughter is going to have someone dressed up as a creepy old dude hand her a random something that she doesn't need. 

I honestly don't know what it is exactly that has be so bothered by this. I just know that I am. Is it because we're perpetuating the myth of Santa? Encouraging the commercialism of the holiday season? That I don't want someone passing along a tradition to my daughter that doesn't fit into my own personal belief system? 

It's not that we don't "celebrate Christmas," we just don't really celebrate it as most North Americans do. And it's not that I hate Christmas and everything associated with it. While I've chosen to celebrate the Winter Solstice, rather than the Christian holiday of Christmas, I'm still a huge fan of one gift being exchanged between two loved ones because you want to honor the light within them. I love sitting around a table with family and friends, sharing food and wine to celebrate the days getting longer. I even enjoy cedar and holy decorating the mantle with candles burning. I can handle and even like a few holiday/winter songs. 

This is my Yule. 

My partner is impartial. He grew up celebrating both Christmas and Channukah but hates the commercialism of Christmas and has chosen not to participate in Jewish religious traditions as an adult. He also has no desire to celebrate the seasons and participate in a Solstice celebration, although won't object to me doing so with Penelope on my own.I respect and admire him for this as it's not easy to separate yourself from the traditions you grew up with, and to not be pressured into celebrating what you're partner does. But we don't just have a baby, we now have a toddler and it's impossible to simply ignore this time of year. So, it's up to us to create our traditions. 

This poses the question - how in the world do we celebrate? 

This looks fun:

A celebration of dance? I know that I don't want it to be a celebration of 'stuff'. I'm more inclined to give gifts on birthdays, when you're celebrating the actual person who is on the receiving end. I know I don't want it to be about lying to my kids that there is a guy from the North Pole breaking into our house once a year to bring toys. I want to share with her the North American myth of Santa and the correlations with Norse mythology. Hell, I even want her to learn of Krampus, the anti-Santa who punishes bad children during the Yule season and hauls him away in his sack. I want to decorate the house in holy and wake up to toast the sun on Yule, I want to share these stories and traditions from around the world and dance to silly songs with my girl. I don't want our celebration to be about lies and what she gets. When we live in a society who witnesses a man being arrested for telling children the truth, that Santa isn't real, how is this possible? 

When I shared my reservations of letting our little girl participate in the Christmas celebrations at daycare, my partner replied "she's a baby, it doesn't matter." While another person I confided in remarked, "Just let her go along with it, she'll feel left out..."

This could possibly be a big part of what's wrong with our society? That we all just go along with it. What if ... WHAT IF we all gave up on the Santa myth? The lying, the good vs. bad with coal and gifts story, the mass commercialism and mounds of debt acquired this time of year, and just celebrated each other, the sun or Christ or whatever/whoever you worship and remember our image of Santa Claus was indeed taken from images of old Pagan gods, but mostly from a Coca Cola campaign.

Dia de los Muertos Celebration ~ Day of the Dead... with a toddler.

Each year we have a Mexican pot luck to encourage our friends to join us for Dia de los Muertos. This is not a celebration of heritage (although there is most likely a past life connection happening here) but a lesson taken from those who know how to pay tribute to the dead with a proper celebration, something I think we should all do. I try to do it year round, but having the party allows us to share, and to celebrate, on a larger scale. 

But... ever try getting ready for a big party with a one year old tugging on your leg? It's next to impossible.

I learned from having one around during another party I decorated for, that everything takes WAY longer. So paper flowers and poms were made and hung a couple days ahead of time (TIP#1), losing only one to the impatient hands of a 15 month old. 

My child's Hallowe'en costume could have passed for a raver with the amount of glitter she had on her body from her new passionate love of sparkly skulls, (I'm not sure where she gets that from) but we got them all up.

The day of the party we got up early, baked the cake and finished hanging decorations. I tried to clean the house but with a toddler trailing behind me and undoing most of what I had accomplished I admitted defeat. Thankfully help was coming (TIP#2 - hire a housekeeper to come in the morning of the party).

While the house was being cleaned we went out and grabbed ourselves lunch, and picked fresh flowers for the altar so when we returned we could start cooking. (TIP#3 - prepare as much food in the couple days leading up to the party as possible. Nothing quite says "welcome" like hiding in the kitchen still rolling enchiladas an hour into the feast.)

Two wonderful friends came to hang out in shifts (TIP#4) and played with the terror toddler, while I finished preparing things. 

2 days or 10 hours later, depending on how you look at it, the ancestor altar was lit, skeleton lanterns glowed and sparkly skulls adorned windows, staircases and tables. The papel picado and paper flowers were hung, an eclectic mix of Mexican music played through our speakers,sangria marinated and enchilada sauce simmered on the stove awaiting guests. 

November 2nd, Dia de los Muertos - Day of the Dead. Finally, the time had arrived to invite our ancestors to cross the veil and feast with us, to dance with us, to share a drink, and allow us to honor them with remembrance. Extra pillows were placed around the house so the dead could rest after their long journey and banners were hung to welcome them...

A cake was made in their honor (recipe below)

And a small table in the entry way served as a place where people could be alone for a moment to write a note to loved ones. They were all placed in a container, which I will take to the cemetery and burn at the crossroads, asking guardians of the crossroads and of the gates to the Otherworld, to deliver the messages to the dead. 

Guests were encouraged to bring offerings for those that have passed, and photos to display. We shared stories about those we were remembering - something next year I think we'll do on a larger scale - and we feasted, we drank, we played, and mostly... we remembered.

Poppet helping set up the ancestor altar and making a toast to her great grandpa

Cake recipe:

• 2 cups sugar
• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 4 large eggs
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups pumpkin puree or cooked mashed pumpkin

Combine sugar, vegetable oil, and eggs in a large mixing bowl; mix well. Sift dry ingredients into a separate bowl; stir into oil mixture, beating well. Stir in pumpkin puree.

Pour batter into two greased and floured skull pan (or two round pans). Bake at 350° for 35 to 40 minutes for round pans - 45-50 for deeper skull pan - some ovens may take up to an hour... just keep doing the tooth pick trick every 5 minutes until it comes out clean. Turn out onto racks to cool.

Put two halves together with your favorite icing or just toothpicks (what I did) and sprinkle with icing sugar - stuff flowers into eye sockets TAAAADAAA!