Sunday, 8 May 2011

... because I don't feel like a mama yet!

A lot of people have either wished me a happy Mother's Day (thank you) or asked how I plan to celebrate it with babe in womb. Answer: I'm not. Why? has been the popular follow up question. I don't know why I would. I'm not a mama... yet. I will admit though...  I'm starting to love that title and will be proud to wear it, along with my heart, on my sleeve for all to see once our ninja is born. (yes, we're having a ninja - see last post)

It's strange. I just don't feel like a mother yet. I feel like I still have dues to pay before I can call myself that. 3 more months of kicks to the ribs, constant trips to the washroom, ridiculous back pain and moods that swing higher than poodle skirt donning girls did in the 50s. :) And... well, everything that mothers have endured come the big day.

Although I'm really looking forward to the moments of motherhood that will be; I'm aware that, overall, it's not going to be a Norman Rockwell painting. I look at how strong my mother is and everything she went through ~ not only to bring me into the world but to help raise me and try to teach me what she thought I would need to know to get through life as a strong, independent and intuitive person. Sure we've fought and we've had our moments of hating each other but we also had and are still having moments that allow us to feel this intense, loving bond we share.

I only hope that through all the mistakes I will make as a mother, my daughter will still adore me as much as I adore my own. For now...

... I simply don't feel that until I have tackled any of these things that I should refer to myself as a mama. I guess I see all the things my friends have gone through with their babes/toddlers/children/teens and I am in such awe of, and have so much respect for, them that it seems to lessen the word "mother" if I were to call myself that already. It's a powerful transition and an important ritual in a woman's life. Sure I'm giving my body over to my adorable little parasite, nourishing her and attempting to start a bonding process with her... but a mom? Not yet. My transition has simply started. 

Maybe we could start a "mamas to be" or "goodbye Maiden" day". For now, I give love and tribute to all mothers, my own especially and wish YOU a happy Mother's Day! I hope it's a day full of love and laughter. 

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