Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Wanted: Patience and filter for mouth

You know those moments where you think certain thoughts but you would never actually say them aloud? *bite me, you totally know what I'm talking about* Yeah, those. Well, normally I can restrain myself; I have the ability to bite by tongue or at least filter what comes out of my mouth or manage to mask the look of abhorrence that appears on my face when someone upsets me, or frankly just irritates me. 

Apparently pregnancy causes you to not only be hormonal, have joyous mood swings, and insane feelings of insecurity; it also causes you to lose all ability to filter your reactions to people.This became painfully obvious to me when I returned to the pool this weekend.

I do high intensity aquafit. Keep in mind this is not water aerobics circa 1982: "and 4 more... and 3... feel that burn... and 2 more and 1... good!" This lady kind of kicks our asses on a regular basis. I've been slacking; with house renovations and baby classes and prenatal yoga (excuse excuse excuse) I haven't been in a while and let's just say the day I returned was also the day patience left me. Let me rephrase... the little amount of patience I do have, left me.

It started with the gossips - the "I just turned 50 and am going to go to the pool to appear to be trying to stay in shape" otherwise known as the irritating as *#(! women who are there to socialize rather than work out. So, they stand, yes STAND in the middle of the pool while we're trying to do bends, crunches and run from one side of the pool to the other. One lady actually had the audacity to ask the life guard if there was anything he could do to turn up the heat in the pool! Seriously! Poor thing! Water is too cold today?
"I hear if you actually move around you'll warm up" was my response as I continued my lunges past her. Oops. Inside voice, inside voice... ouch lady... that glare hurts.

Then there's the old dude that stares - normally I just tune him out. Seriously, he's 60 some years old, he's there to get some blood pumping (insert crude joke here) and he's surrounded by only 4 other men and about 20 women ranging from 25 to 75 in nothing but their swim suits. I get it's hard not to look, but the ogling gets to me and this time I just stare back. 

old dude: staring
me: staring back wide eyed - raised eyebrows and all
old dude: still lookin'
me: staring back
me: blink blink
me: wide eyes
old dude: staring
me: squinty "grrrr you better look away now Mister" eyes

Finally he turns away and focuses on his water weights and resistance training.

All I can think to myself is "did I really just do that... Jesus. Tricia you are a serious bitch."

Alas, that was not the bitchiest of the bitch moments. I haven't told you about the New Girl... or as I like to label her "The Traveler". We've all been there. I remember my first class 3 years ago. I fell over, I bumped into a few people. BUT what I have a hard time with, is the traveler who is doing that because she isn't paying attention to the instructor due to the fact that she is too busy pretending to know how to do everything already. 

First incident: left leg lift... she travels backwards, into me. And turns around and glares at me for the bump. I smile. Second incident: side left leg lift... she travels backwards, into me. I politely tell her that she's traveling again. She apologizes and I explain that I simply don't want to end up kicking her. 
Third incident: right leg lift... she travels backwards and chooses not to look over her shoulder as she is moving 5 feet backwards straight into my extended foot that hits her firmly in the ass. Okay, there may have been a little assistance with the amount of pressure said foot put on her backside, but did I mention I was having a baby ninja? 

I think she was just reaching out.


Necessary? probably not, but like I said it was a morning full of "moments".

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