Tuesday, 20 September 2011

my lovely lady humps...

Yup, this is a post about my boobs. (I apologize to Penelope's grandparents in advance)

After you give birth you're told to give it 6 weeks before you get back into an exercise routine, so I waited and waited... and finally the big day arrived. I had served my time. Swimsuit and towel packed, I was pumped to go back to aquafit. 

Sign on the door: 
"We're sorry, Artillery Park is closed for maintenance from September 4-18."


So this week, I finally got my body back in the pool. Which meant my first long period of time away from Penelope, Jared's first time attempting to cup feed her (based on the amount of milk on the kitchen table and floor and how wet P's sleeper was when I got home, I'd say it went really well lol) and, therefore, my first pumping adventure.

Yes adventure... over high tides and through enchanted forests I fought robots in disguise, climbed the steepest mountains, and braved the hail and the wind, all for 4oz of milk. This is what having a babe one one boob and using a manual pump on the other at 3am feels like. Especially when it falls over, you lose two of your hard earned ounces, and so at 6am, you have to lather, rinse, repeat.

Nah, it wasn't so bad. I've always been a small chested woman, and even after giving birth and nursing for 2 months I still receive the "wow, you almost have boobs now!" comments. It's okay. I came to terms with my resemblance to a 12 year old boy years ago. But damnit if the girls don't produce one hell of a lot of milk.

Case in point: Even after pumping, I could feel the let down when I started jumping around in the pool. And may I just say what an odd sensation it is to have boobs that bounce! I don't envy you larger chested ladies at all! It felt... weird. 

Anyway... on with my odd little tale...

Towards the end of class women and their babes showed up for swimming lessons. A dozen 4m olds not only caused me to crave to have Penelope back in my arms, even as I did the running man underwater, but once I passed them on my way to the showers I knew a second let down was coming. What the hell boobs? Really?

It was in the shower that I then realized I don't just leak milk, I spray it.

My breasts had turned into high powered water guns.

I kid you not. It was like two milk lasers decided to open fire.

Lesson learned? Other people's babies WILL bring out the mama in you, whether you like it or not.

1 comment:

  1. Ha ha I'm laughing cause it's true!
    Thanks for my Saturday morning giggle.