HEY! Hold on. Wait a minute. Before you start throwing nasty words my way, please note that this is not my first. But it is the first of NO SLEEP. Compared to the increasingly popular sleep, wake, nurse, sleep, poop, wake, nurse, stay awake for 2 hours, sleep, wake, nurse, sleep, puke, squirm...
This is the first night that I've tried for over three hours to put Penelope down with no luck. She made a couple stops at the all night diner, sampling a little from the left and enjoyed a full meal from the right. She was rocked, sang to, bounced, swaddled, soothed... nothing was getting her to Sleepy Lane. Although, the process was starting to get me to Frustrated which runs parallel with Annoyance. As most moms know that's the next left after the intersection of guilty and I'm a shitty mom...
Yeah, it hit me... the I-suck-at-this-mama-stuff-can't-even-get-my-baby-to-fall-asleep thoughts. Which, logically, I know isn't true. But emotionally? Hormonally? There it is. So what's a girl to do? Pass babe to Papa. Exchange PJs for jeans and a top. Strap on carrier. Insert babe into carrier. Add a hat for her and a hoodie for me and out the door we went.
This was the best thing I could have done. I never thought I'd be thankful to Penelope for her fussiness, but because it lead to walking at 2am, I got to clear my head. The crisp breeze defused any negative emotions (and made me start to contemplate what the hell happened to summer) and, by the time I got two blocks away the only thought I had was "mmmm those donuts smell amazing". An all night Mac's (with a Subway) AND a 24 hour donut shop within blocks of our new house. This is fantastic! (or dangerous for my waistline)
Into the donut shop we went. I asked what the difference between crullers and donuts were. The lady behind the counter replied "they're the same price". So I got one of each to find out for myself. This lady was a trip! She also asked me if I was carrying a real baby or a doll. I started thinking "who the hell would be out walking around at 2am wearing a doll on their chest?" Then I remembered that just a few blocks away lived a woman who used to push her cat around in a stroller. Kingstonians, you know her: big black hair, blue eye shadow, painted on eyebrows.
Welcome to the neighbourhood.
On the walk home Penelope continued to snore into my chest, fast asleep and I learned that crullers aren't as good as donuts, and donuts will always be a poor substitute for pie.
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