Daycare. Daycare? Daycare!!!

Every mama has had to, at one point, leave their child in the hands of another person. Today began our journey of leaving Penelope with a complete stranger, five days a week. 

I didn't expect to LOVE that she was at daycare! I forgot that I was going back to something I adore doing. So, from about 8:30am I was energetic and focused and honestly, didn't even think too much about Penelope, or how she was doing. Yup, heartless cold mama right here!

But before you judge too harshly know that last night was full of anxiety about the addition of daycare to our daily routine and doubt about returning to work after a year. I had all the typical questions invading my thoughts: was I ready to let her go into the hands of someone I didn't know? Would I be okay with not having her curl up in my lap in the middle of the day to nurse? (yes we're weaning) Was I ready to be at the station all day when I had become so accustomed to going for a long walk when I felt antsy, or for lunch with friends when the mood struck. Mind you I wasn't so emotional that I had panic attacks or cried but I was definitely focus-challenged.

Then there was this morning, where I decided to make Jared take her so I didn't lose my shit. I would just take the day one step at a time. Eat. Go to yoga. Shower. Dress. Become caffeinated. Bike to work. Go on air. And it worked.

He took her, and admitted that it was WAY harder on him than he thought it would be. But, she was fine and playing with the other babies. I was doubtful, but there wasn't much I could do but hope she would stay happy all day. I carried on with my show, and had an amazing first day back...

Then 1:30 hit.

It was like I was missing a limb. I could feel little hands tugging at my dress; I could hear her funny sounds and craved her snuggling into my neck. I realized then that those who told me it'd be easy for Penelope but hard for us as parents were absolutely right. This was proved even more when I showed up to pick up a ridiculously content little baby having a snack and chatting gibberish with her new friends. (my daughter is amazing). Apparently, according to the ladies looking after her, she was meant for daycare. She didn't cry much, she napped twice and ate with everyone else on time. 

Figures. 

BUT, she still went a little crazy when I walked in the door and (as another friend told me it would be) the greatest moment was an arm around each side of my neck for her first ever deliberate hug and a big kiss. Mind you, it is Penelope and, she tends to eat your face when she gives kisses but it was the best moment of my entire day. Maybe the week. 

If you're hesitant about the first day your little one goes to childcare, remember... slobber and hugs are the new bubbles and hula hoops. You can't have them without getting a little giddy.