My twitch is broken...

It's really, really hard sometimes to do what needs to be done. Some days you look at the basket of laundry, the counter full of dishes, the other basket of laundry and the recycle bin that's been dumped out on the floor and just say, "fuck it". 

Then you sit down with a glass of (insert guilty pleasure here) and sulk that you're not out riding your bike to the beach with your friends. You could be, but now that you've taken in the disaster that is your house you feel far too guilty leaving it. Especially since you've done nothing lately to contribute to the household duties. And this realization hits while your significant other is doing the dishes. Leaving to get some air, or jump in a lake, just isn't going to cut it.

I'm not sure if you're like me, but since I am the master of sulking - otherwise known as procrastinating., instead of helping, I'm drinking a glass of wine and writing while looking at the paper scattered in the entry way and the toys that litter the living room floor. I'm seriously getting frustrated that my Bewitched powers aren't working. I'M TWITCHING MY NOSE OVER HERE! HELLO???? WITCHY MAGIC POWERS?

Nothing.

Fucking television. This is how Samantha cleaned her house. WTH!? Even my laser vision isn't making things simply incinerate. *sigh

Maybe I could just get a garbage bag and throw everything out. Nah, that would also require getting up and let's face it, it's been a shitty week. I won't lie. I want to sit here and feel sorry for myself for 20 minutes while watching Nurse Jackie. There's nothing like a pill popping, pathological lying, cheating nurse - who is also mom of 2 to a hypochondriac and her younger sibling the pyromaniac - to make you feel better about your own tiny bullshit problems. (Seriously, it'll put things into perspective).

See? MASTER of justification and procrastination.

I have a problem.

In the last couple weeks since I went back to work, J has been picking up the slack. Tremendously. He's doing dishes, and bathing P. He's taking her to daycare and helping put her down at night. He's Mr. Mom. And he's amazing at it. I found myself thinking this morning, "Is there anything that I'M doing?"

Okay, sure there is but let's face it, Penelope is a baby, she's pretty simple. She eats, she poops, she sleeps and now she crawls, creeps and climbs. There's a lot of chasing happening but she's not driving me too crazy thanks to the daily break while I'm at work and she's at daycare. Sure, I entertain Penelope for a couple hours after work. Sometimes she laughs with me, sometimes she clings, sometimes she gives me hugs and kisses. Overall we seem to be doing okay together.

And yeah, I cook. Sometimes. But I`ll be honest, that feels like a break and like I`m getting time to myself most days. I totally feel like I'm sucking the big time right now as a partner. I'm feeling a little guilty. At least I put out a lot. Would more blowjobs make up for not weeding the garden?

Am I the only new mom who feels like they are kind of rocking the mama thing, but mostly because the house cleaning gets ignored and because Baby Daddy is so helpful?